Is It Normal for My Child to Have Daily Tantrums?
You pick them up from school, and they fall apart before you’ve even left the parking lot. You try to make dinner, and they’re screaming because the plate is the wrong color. Tantrums feel overwhelming but are often a developmentally appropriate part of early childhood. So how do you know if your kid is falling within the expected range?
The short answer: Tantrums can be normal, especially in toddlers and preschoolers. However, the frequency, intensity, and context is important to consider. This quick checklist can help you understand what’s typical and when it might be time to seek support.
Probably within the typical range:
Tantrums that happen every few days might feel very frequent, but are to be expected for kids under five.
Tantrums are short lived and last between 10-15 minutes. Tantrums tend to resolve without further behavioral escalation.
Tantrums mostly happen at home
Your child can keep it together in daycare, school, or social settings but “lets it out” at home where they feel safest.You can identify common triggers
Fatigue, hunger, transitions, and overstimulation are classic tantrum starters in young kids.
Might be more concerning:
If tantrums are happening every day and include the following, it may be worth speaking to a child psychologist or pediatrician.
Multiple tantrums per day, almost every day
Especially if they don’t seem tied to obvious triggers.Your child becomes aggressive
Hitting, kicking, biting, throwing things, or hurting themselves during outbursts.Tantrums last longer than 20–30 minutes
And your child struggles to calm down even with your help.You feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells
You feel like you have to avoid certain words, activities, or routines to prevent explosions.Meltdowns happen in multiple environments
Not just at home, but also at school, daycare, or with other caregivers.You suspect something deeper is going on
Like anxiety, sensory sensitivities, ADHD, or a history of trauma or stress.
What You Can Do
If you're in the “this is hard but probably normal” category:
Keep consistent routines.
Offer choices when possible to give your child a sense of control.
Stay calm (easier said than done!) and name the feelings: “You’re really frustrated right now.”
Model regulation and set warm, clear boundaries.
Praise behavior you want to see more frequently: “You’re doing a great job using your words to tell me what you need.”
If you're in the “this is hard but probably normal” category:
Keep consistent routines.
Offer choices when possible to give your child a sense of control.
Stay calm (easier said than done!) and name the feelings: “You’re really frustrated right now.”
Model regulation and set warm, clear boundaries.
Praise behavior you want to see more frequently: “You’re doing a great job using your words to tell me what you need.”
You’re not alone. Daily tantrums are exhausting, but they don’t have to stay this intense. Help is available whether your child is working through a tough phase or needs further support.
Feel free to reach out for a free consult call if you’re unsure about your child’s behavior and want to see if therapy might be helpful for your family.